WE ALL HAVE DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES… WE ALL DEAL WITH OVER SENSITIVE, EASILY OFFENDED, EASILY ANGERED, PEOPLE WHO ARE QUICK TO GET IN THE FLESH. SOMETIMES THESE PEOPLE ARE THE ONES CLOSEST TO US. DIFFICULT PEOPLE CAN BE FAMILY, FRIENDS, CO-WORKERS, NEIGHBORS, AND SOME OF YOU ARE EVEN MARRIED TO THEM… MAYBE YOU ARE THAT PERSON!
The devil knows that if he can divide us, he can defeat us… (a house divided against itself will never stand). This is why we have to get a revelation from the Lord on this very important subject! How do we deal with these people that the Lord has brought into our lives? He has brought all of the people in your life, INTO your life… some people are sandpaper, and some are soap… the bottom line is that the Lord has brought these people into our lives, and we are assigned to discover, then expose the diamond in all of them!
HOW DO WE DEAL WITH THESE DIFFICULT PEOPLE WHO GOD HAS BROUGHT INTO OUR LIVES?
LET ME SAY UPFRONT, “IT IS GOING TO REQUIRE A LOT OF GRACE!”
LET’S START WITH WISE WORDS FROM JESUS…
Matthew 5:44 - I say to you, love your enemies (*those that you are in conflict with), bless those who curse you (*those who speak words of death to you, or about you), do good to those who hate you, (*those who have malicious feelings toward you), and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. (*emphasis mine)
The Passion Translation says, “I say to you, love your enemy, bless the one who curses you, do something wonderful for the one who hates you, and respond to the very ones who persecute you by praying for them.”
Jesus told us to treat difficult people with respect, with the Love of God, and with grace, and that the most effective way in dealing with their destructive, hostile, flesh driven behavior, is to PRAY for them.
HERE IS A REVELATION CONCERNING PEOPLE, CREATED IN THE IMAGE AND LIKENESS OF GOD…
ALL PEOPLE ARE MADE GOOD AND ARE GOOD AT THEIR CORE.
ALL BAD BEHAVIOR COMES THROUGH DECEPTION…
HURT PEOPLE, HURT OTHER PEOPLE!
SELF-HATRED, CONDEMNATION, AND UNFORGIVENESS TOWARD THEMSELVES ARE COMMON ISSUES IN PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH.
Many have a belief that they are something that they are not… they have bought lies about their identity, their value, and their ability. They are either consciously, or subconsciously in deep inner pain and frustration, and are afflicted with intense fear.
HERE ARE SOME DO’S AND DON’TS WHEN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE…
DO NOT… Try to persuade, attempt to correct, or try to change them. Do not involve yourself in their mess, or, give your opinion. Do not reject them, or condemn them, or get angry, or frustrated with them. Do not assume that their problems are due to a lack of knowledge, or that something that you could say to them may change things…
DO… Love them unconditionally, give undeserved grace and mercy to them, and do have compassion on them. DO focus on the diamond in them, and not the dirt on them… do give genuine, heartfelt words of affirmation. Serve them, bless them, and speak well of them… even when you are not in their presence, and most importantly, PRAY for them!
HERE IS A VERY IMPORTANT REVELATION… KNOW THAT THE SOURCE OF BAD BEHAVIOR IS ALWAYS DEMONIC.
Powers of darkness influence, bait, deceive and control the carnal flesh nature in people. In the same way, the Holy Spirit influences, enlightens, empowers, and enables the born-again spirits of Christians. Bad behavior is fueled and inspired demonically. Even Christians can ‘give place to the devil’ and succumb to the control and influence of spirits of darkness… this is the root cause of all bad, destructive, unloving, flesh driven behavior. Understanding this and having a revelation on this is key… your struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against evil spirits who are working through yielded vessels to kill, steal and destroy!
JESUS REMINDED HIMSELF OF THIS WHEN HE SAID, “FATHER, FORGIVE THEM, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO!”
He knew that even His own people, who were shouting, “crucify Him” were being controlled and influenced by spirits of darkness. This was a key revelation that enabled Jesus to forgive the people, and deal with the source.
JESUS SPOKE TO THE DEVIL THAT WAS INFLUENCING PETER… “GET BEHIND ME SATAN”.
Jesus had a revelation that even good people could give place to the devil. This revelation is key to loving ALL people, forgiving them, and dealing with them in grace!
In Ephesians 6:12, the Word imparts a major revelation in dealing with difficult people… “We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
God’s Word Translation says it this way, “This is not a wrestling match against a human opponent. We are wrestling with rulers, authorities, the powers who govern this world of darkness, and spiritual forces that control evil in the heavenly world.”
Ephesians 6:12 gives the CONTEXT of the verses that follow… the revelation that the Holy Spirit imparts here through Paul the apostle is that difficult people are not the source of their actions and words towards us… he makes it clear that we are under attack from evil spirits of darkness, attacking us through people who have given them place (most of them unknowingly).
The teaching on ‘the armor of God’ is in the context of dealing with difficult people who are influenced, used and controlled by devils. It equips us how to PROTECT ourselves from their words, their actions and their anger towards us. Then in Ephesians 6:18, the Holy Spirit gives us the primary New Covenant solution in dealing with difficult people…
Ephesians 6:18 “Pray always with ALL PRAYER and supplication (intersession) in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication (intersession) for all the saints.”
The Greek word translated as supplication can also be translated ‘making specific requests through intersession.’ Prayer is the most effective tool in dealing with people that are being used by the enemy against us and against themselves, to kill, to steal and to destroy.
The Passion Translation says, “Pray passionately in the Spirit, as you constantly intercede with every form of prayer at all times. Pray the blessings of God upon all His believers.”
PRAY, USING EVERY TYPE OF PRAYER, BUT, FOCUS ON INTERCESSION!
WHAT IS INTERCESSION?
Intercessory prayer is ‘standing in the gap’ on behalf of another individual in prayer before the Father. Through intercessory prayer, by the power of the Spirit, we go to the throne of Jesus (the throne of grace and mercy), and then we pray as led by the Spirit of behalf of the person that is being used and controlled by spirits of darkness. As we intercede, the Holy Spirit allows us to see, and to understand the attack that the person is being subjected to… He enables us to feel what that person is feeling, and to identify the specific spirits of darkness that are influencing and controlling the person that has become subject to them.
As we are praying in the courtroom of Heaven, before the Lord in intercession, we are anointed by the Holy Spirit to pray on the other person’s behalf… just like a lawyer has legal right to speak on behalf of the person that he, or she is representing, we are now legally representing the afflicted individual that we are interceding for. As you intercede, BIND the devil, call the spirits of darkness by name through revelation of the Holy Ghost, and then BIND them from operating in and through that individual who has fallen victim to them. Now speak the living WORD over their lives… decree scriptures over them, in Jesus name… then spend time praying fervently in tongues over them. You cannot bind their flesh, but you can bind the spirits of darkness that are influencing them.
Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you how to pray the prayer of intercession effectively. As you pray this way, you will see change in your relationships. This is the bible way of how to deal with difficult people!
CONFESSION
“Father, I walk in love, compassion and patience toward the people that are under attack from the enemy!
I know that my struggle is not against them, and I recognize that they are under spiritual attack.
I have been given power over all of the works of the enemy, so I use my authority now to set them free, in Jesus Name!
I commit to pray for, and to intercede on behalf of those that are under spiritual attack.
I will bind all deception, and every spirit of darkness that is influencing the people in my life, in Jesus Name!
I speak the Word over them and into them, in Jesus Name!
I will pray in the Spirit, until I sense breakthrough, in Jesus Name!
As I sow in intercession towards others, I will reap intercession from others, to set me free from all deception, and spiritual attack, in Jesus Name!”
In His amazing Love, Nick
